Smiling Boy Wonder

Posted in Uncategorized on June 3, 2009 by cryptoandkimbap

We hired a new busser a few weeks ago and I worked my third shift with the kid last night. If he isn’t fired soon, he will get consumed by the raging fires of Ting, our front manager. He’s slow, he’s got the audacity to tell meĀ what to do and he’s just so goddamn annoying.

I’m not hard to get along with at work. But if there’s one thing a new person can say to me during a first conversation that will taint my first impression of him so much that it looks Jackson Pollock took a shit all over it, it’s what this kid said to me shortly after we exchanged names:

“You should really smile more often.”

First, this kid wasn’t hired for his skills or experience–just pure, unadulterated nepotism. Second, asking a server to smile more often is like asking a masseuse to give more HJs. This grin is my money-maker. Smiling Boy Wonder was off to a horrendous start.

Speaking of skills, bussing at a small restaurant with a seating capacity of 40 people doesn’t require a lot. Everything I’ve learned as a busser and server can be condensed in three steps:

  1. Collect as many dishes and cups that two hands can carry as fast as humanly possible.
  2. Help clearing and setting tables, getting extra stuff like drinks and checks, etc.
  3. Bring refills.

Boy Wonder couldn’t do any of this. In fact, he was so enamored with one of our female customers that he started telling me to get this girl’s drinks to probably impress her with some faux-management position.

“Hey Eddie, can you get this girl a Thai iced tea when you get a chance?” he asked.

“Excuse me?”

With a quick grin and wink, he turned back around to his victim.

If it weren’t for a a written up notice from the owner about an angry review on about how she “berates her staff,” Ting would have slapped this kid. Instead, she yells, “I tell you all time to get water for the cut-uh-mer and you don’t do it-lah! Something wrong, okay?” But he was too busy checking out a customer’s butt to hear her.